DOWNERS GROVE, Ill. — Loving parent Debra Swanson showed interest in her son’s tech career by following all of his AI slop accounts.

“My Steven is such a smart boy! Can you believe he made these?” Debra reported. “I love the one he made recently of Charlie Kirk hugging George Floyd in heaven. Such a powerful message. I made sure to say in the comments how proud I was of my little man! I follow dozens of his accounts online and watch everything posted on each one. It ends up taking hours of my day but he needs to know how happy I am for him! I don’t understand many, like the ones with all the sad cats because cats shouldn’t be sad, but he’s the big internet star!”

Steven Swanson, Debra’s son and AI slop creator, was indifferent about his mom’s support.

“Yeah I have about 80 accounts on Instagram alone. I hope to get enough views to make a profit,” Steven explained. “My mom likes all my posts, it’s nice of her I guess. A few of my accounts are for fake movie trailers and posters. She will sometimes call me up and tell me things like she thinks Will Smith is going to be terrible as the next James Bond. She’ll also ask if I know any of the sexy trad women who say they are single. I’m not even aware of most of these posts until she congratulates me on them.”

Mrs. Swanson also regularly sends her son’s work to all of her friends.

“I don’t get them from her directly, but she sends them to my mom who sends them to me and says ‘Debra’s boy made this’. I’ll be visiting for Thanksgiving and she will shove her phone an inch from my face to a picture he made of a shitty burger that looks like the face of Queen Elizabeth if you squint,” reported Jessica Sheridan, whose mom is close friends with Debra. “She tells me that because I went to art school I should really talk to that guy sometime. I tell her that’s okay and then she looks at me like I must have had some huge falling out with him. I think I met him once fifteen years ago?”

At press time, Debra had also befriended several of the people commenting on her son’s posts, unaware that most of them are bot accounts created by Steven as well.

The post Supportive Mom Follows All of Son’s AI Slop Accounts appeared first on Palette Swap.

FAYETTEVILLE, N.C. — In a viral post that was seen by over 2.1 Million users, Redditor and indie dev LessNESman shared a build of Here, My Dear, a whimsical side-scrolling game he created as a means of requesting a divorce from his wife, Marissa.

“We’d been seeing a couples therapist,” said Marvin Benson, the man behind the account. “She encouraged us to express our feelings in whatever way felt most comfortable. I’ve been a hobby game dev since before Marissa and I started dating, so speaking through games just made sense.”

While the game presents itself traditionally with its classic run-and-jump platforming formula and pixel aesthetics, the intermingling of its shockingly personal narrative and level design are where it really surprises.

“At first, I thought it was just a sweet anniversary gift,” said Marissa Benson, whose NPC representation in the game grows progressively more gleeful with each of the player’s failures. “I think it was the end of Stage 2, where you slowly walk through a sewer littered with detailed pixel art of all the gifts Marvin’s given me over the years, that I caught on.”

Here, My Dear features five worlds, each with its own lovingly handcrafted monstrous caricatures of Marissa, her friends, and family. 

“This is the most emotionally available I’ve ever seen him,” said close friend and QA Tester, Scooter Kayama. “And the game is surprisingly enjoyable even for people outside their marriage. Granted, if you’ve never met Marissa’s sister, the third boss-battle loses a lot of its nuance. But you’re still fighting a harpy in a coffee shop, and that’s fun for everyone.”

At press time, a Kickstarter for an enhanced edition was in the works, with stretch goals to include professional voice actors and a better divorce attorney.

The post Man Builds Adorable Side-Scrolling Platformer to Ask Wife for Divorce appeared first on Palette Swap.

FRISCO, Texas — The developers behind looter-shooter sequel Borderlands 4, Gearbox Software, posted a statement to its social channels apologizing for the embarrassing performance of the CEO.

“Gamers, we hear you. You’re disappointed by the things you’ve seen and heard in the wake of Borderlands 4‘s release. We missed the mark, and acknowledge that this kind of performance is not up to the standards you expect from us,” began the customary PNG posted to Twitter and Instagram. “The thing is, Randy is just like that. We hate it too. Please play our game still. It’s a lot of fun and the rest of us worked really hard on it.”

Players took notice of the many regrettable comments Pitchford had made surrounding Borderlands 4 online, as evidenced by some of the social media rants that have been written since.

“I’m out here trying to figure out what I need to turn on or off in my NVIDIA control panel, and every search result is just Randy taking a shit on his customers. Get out of the way, idiot!” one agitated Benjie07 typed up on Saturday night. “And what’s all this crap about ‘it’s a premium game for premium gamers?’ How about get yourself a premium CEO? Putting Randy Pitchford in charge of a studio like Gearbox is like trying to drive a monster truck with a leaf blower’s motor. You’re going to be disappointed.”

YouTube channel, Digital Foundry — known for its technical analysis of video game software and hardware performance — have even weighed in on the issue.

“Randy Pitchford has tweeted something inflammatory about the Borderlands 4 fanbase an average of 4.2 times per hour. He’s likely able to achieve this frequency on either 5G or a Wi-Fi 6 mesh network,” explained analyst Richard Leadbetter in the recent upload. “Provocative comments tend to peak midday before dropping suddenly for roughly an hour. These spikes could be hunger related, calming down once Mr. Pitchford gets his lunch — but that’s just speculation.”

Digital Foundry continued.

“Randy’s blue checkmark does grant him more than 280 characters per post, which he is taking excessive advantage of. You may feel inclined to sign up for a premium X account yourself to ensure your mockery of Mr. Pitchford will reach the top of the replies, but the value still isn’t there yet in our expert opinion. We recommend making just fun of him on a free account for now, or wait for a discount.”

At press time, Pitchford doubled down on his comments with recent reports suggesting the CEO is threatening a second Borderlands movie.

The post Gearbox Apologizes for Poor Performance of Randy Pitchford appeared first on Palette Swap.

REDMOND, Wash. — Jeffrey Steitzer, voice of the Halo multiplayer announcer, has been fired from Halo Studios following offensive comments made in the aftermath of seven player deaths.

“Seven people died today in a matter of 30 seconds. The general public may not realize just how devastating of a kill count this is. The Red Team only has four players on it. That means three of them came back to life only to be killed by the shooter a second time,” said FBI Director Kash Patel. “And as it’s all happening, this Halo announcer is shouting ‘Triple Kill! Overkill!’ — making a mockery of their unlimited lives. It’s a tragedy. Red Team, I’ll see you in Valhalla. Or maybe Blood Gulch or Ragnarok depending on which Halo we’re playing.”

Many folks have taken to social media explicitly calling for the firing of those like the Halo announcer celebrating violence.

“Disgusting behavior coming from the Halo announcer celebrating this political violence. Shouting “Killimanjaro” for everyone to hear, are you kidding me?” said Laura Loomer in Twitter post. “My heart goes out to the Red Team. Those were good, conservative, Christian Spartans under that red armor. Sure they may just be be pixels on a screen, but they didn’t deserve this. They were champions of free speech, which is why I’m calling for the immediate removal of this lunatic @Microsoft @Xbox @Halo @Reggie.”

Halo Studios alongside parent company Microsoft released a statement concerning Steitzer’s employment status.

“We strongly object to the recent comments made by Mr. Steitzer celebrating these on-screen deaths,” a Halo Studios spokesperson said. “His words are inexcusable and we’ve made the decision to retroactively remove Mr. Steitzer’s voice lines from all Halo games. Multiplayer games will continue for now without announcements, but we are fast tracking new audio recordings with Fox News’ Greg Gutfeld to be implemented shortly.”

At press time, the FBI released a statement confirming the announcer to have been inspired by “black ideology” upon discovering Kilimanjaro is the name of a mountain in Africa.

The post Halo Announcer Fired After Celebrating Killimanjaro appeared first on Palette Swap.

Square Enix recently released the first part of an interview with Ayako Yokoyama, co-director of the upcoming Final Fantasy Tactics – The Ivalice Chronicles. Yokoyama’s entry into Square Enix came not through game development, but through PlayOnline, the company’s early internet service. Her background in HTML and web design gradually transitioned into support roles on [...]

Not saying they're perfect, but they're certainly worth looking at

The post ‘Kei’ And ‘Midi’ Are Much More Interesting Video Game Definitions Than ‘Indie’ Or ‘AA’ appeared first on Aftermath.