SAN FRANCISCO — In the midst of several new changes coming to Discord, the company announced that it would be introducing tumbleweeds that blow past dormant servers.

“Finally! I’ve been waiting for this for ages,” user Damian McNabb said in the comment section of the announcement. “There’s a few servers that I’m in that I don’t wanna leave, because it would just be too awkward. I’ve been in one since 2019 that was supposed to be for planning a weekly D&D night. Needless to say, it hasn’t been touched in half a decade. Now, at least there’s a fun reason to go back to it.”

Other users aren’t as thrilled at the added changes.

“First, they do this dumb Patreon integration, now suddenly there’s all these weeds everywhere on my screen,” Brandon Olson, another frequent user of the app said. “I go to my DM’s, and I can barely read anything because there’s practically a sandstorm happening all over my screen. I’m sure there’s a lot for me to read under there. Probably just a bug in the system. Yeah, that’s it. It must be.”

Discord product manager Jeremy Belling elaborated on the tumbleweeds and other incoming changes.

“Lots of people have been worried about the changes we’ll be making ahead of going public, and I’m hoping this will help assuage them,” Belling said. “Sure, we’re introducing advertising on the mobile app, but those will be a little fun too. This is just another way to show we aren’t like other companies. We’re your friends. Friends you will soon be able to buy shares of on Wall Street. Maybe you guys can boost us like you did with GameStop. It’s what friends would do for each other, after all.”

Discord announced another new update that would charge users a nightly cover fee to enter servers that are deemed very active.

The post Discord Adds Tumbleweeds That Occasionally Blow by Abandoned Servers appeared first on Palette Swap.

Atari and Fabraz have posted a new, nearly 90-minute-long promotional video for their upcoming 3D platformer, Bubsy 4D. Throughout this video, Bubsy’s fourth-wall-breaking humor and personality persist in a VTuber format, voiced by Sean Chiplock. Plenty of new gameplay is also showcased. Bubsy’s goal this time around is to defeat the new foe, the BaaBots. [...]

'Microsoft does not have anything to share on this matter'

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KYOTO — In an attempt to replicate the success of Animal Crossing: New Horizons, Nintendo is reportedly cooking up a brand-new infectious disease that they anticipate will leave players isolated and addicted, just in time for an upgraded version on the new hardware.

“We’re attempting to capture lightning in a bottle once again,” stated Nintendo President Shuntaro Furukawa. “Our initial thinking was that by releasing the updated game in January, right as the stark winter months kick in, gamers will have nowhere else to turn but their Animal Crossing island. Still, we needed some extra reassurance. That’s why we’re testing dangerous new illnesses on lab rats in a brand-new wing of our facility. We want to make sure GameChat is the premiere option for communication moving forward. Seriously—we really need you guys to start using it.”

Nintendo is reportedly partnering with United States Secretary of Health and Human Services Robert F. Kennedy Jr. to help manufacture the situation.

“Vaccines and masks will be illegal following the release of Animal Crossing: New Horizons – Nintendo Switch 2 Edition,” explained Kennedy. “We want to make sure that absolutely everybody can enjoy this gaming experience, and that people’s rights are not being stripped away by the government. We’ll also have an official White House island that anyone can visit and learn about our country and its newly modified history—only if you’re there legally, of course.”

Fan response to the decision was divisive.

“Well, at least they’re not charging 20 bucks to upgrade this time,” read a post on /r/AnimalCrossing. “The new additions look fun, and I’m looking forward to trying out the mouse controls, but I’d rather not go through a global pandemic again. That’s a moment in time I think we can all look back on and kind of laugh about together, but it would be nice to, you know, go back to normal again if possible.”

At press time, Nintendo encouraged all players to do their own research on infectious diseases, but advised them not to look too deeply into their variable pricing strategy.

The post Nintendo Working on New, Highly Contagious Virus in Time for Animal Crossing Switch 2 Edition appeared first on Palette Swap.

CHASKA, Minn. — After months of diligent prayer, fasting, and crunch, indie studio Threshing Floor’s debut game, the heavily Christian, “Ezekiel And The Mountains Of The Dead” has released to middling reviews that one team member calls “divinely appointed”.

“I believe this score is part of God’s perfect will”, said lead developer Emily Vittorio. “We were hoping for something in the low 90’s, but that was in His hands. The folks at IGN, Skill Up, Destructoid, and FamilyGamer.biz are just pieces in His plan. The only review I care about comes from upstairs. Would have been nice if He helped sell enough copies to make payroll, though.”

Reverend Clarence Brocklehurst, an Episcopal Priest that streams Christian games on the 3DayRespawn channel, was one of the many that felt the game tested the player’s faith in the framerate more than in the Lord.

“Joel 1:3 instructs us. ‘Tell ye your children of it, and let your children tell their children’ but you’ve got to give them something to talk about. I think He would have understood trying to update the language a little. Or spending an additional 40 days in the desert squashing performance issues. I know [Vittorio] pointed to James 4:12, asking who are we to sit in judgement of our fellow man? Forget judgement, ask for forgiveness for the recycled textures and persistent clipping issues.”

The studio’s creative director, Francine Mulcahy, lamented losing the original vision which included modding support for different biblical translations, and a morality system inspired by Leviticus, which penalized players for wearing mixed fabrics.

“We were plagued with budget issues from the start,” Mulcahy explained, “but Emily said that we were only being tested. Given opportunity to grow. Were we discouraged by raising only $412 on Kickstarter? No, Proverbs 17:3 says these trials are just a crucible for silver. Well, maybe not silver. What’s the metal equivalent of a 68? Tin?” 

In a recent blog post, Threshing Floor has reaffirmed their commitment to spreading the word of the Lord through gaming, and hope that another pass of the collection plate may get enough to renew their Unity license.

The post God’s Plan For Christian Game Studio Involves A 68 On Metacritic appeared first on Palette Swap.

"They added a new Clippy. He looks like shit. He’s a little blob. Fuck you! I don’t want that!"

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